


Restless Hours

by LordofKavaka



Category: Castle
Genre: Bathrooms, Bedroom Sex, Comfort Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, F/M, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofKavaka/pseuds/LordofKavaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of the past few days were too emotionally draining to just shrug off after their homecoming. With Kate's help, Castle copes with the sleepless night of his return. Post-Target/Hunt. 6-part story, plus epilogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

_1\. At one he couldn't sleep._

* * *

He laid there, in bed, wide awake, staring numbly at the ceiling above, unable to sleep. He wanted to sleep, desperately so, but he just couldn't. Despite the lengthy debriefing at the U.S. Embassy and the long return flight, his blood was still pumping with the adrenaline of it all. He hadn't really slept at all for nearly a week, the all-consuming fear keeping him alert and anxious. Nothing had been able to soothe his racked nerves until he was finally able to wrap his little girl in a bone crushing hug. He was never going to let go of her again. Never.

"You're still awake?" her voice drifted across the room, formed in a question, but it was a statement.

He gave a noncommittal hum in response, swallowing past the lump that had been in his throat for the last couple of days. He just didn't want to feel this way again. It was exhausting. His chest was tight; his heart clenched in wrenching agony at all the thoughts of what could—thank god— _could_ have happened. But his stupid over-active imagination was not afraid to conjure up all the horrible images, bombarding his conscious mind with all the terrors and associated emotions.

"Castle," she called out to him, but he didn't respond.

He felt the mattress dip as she shifted onto her side. Her hand came up to hold his cheek, tilting his head until his eyes were locked with hers.

"Rick," she used his first name, her voice firm, as she gazed understandingly at him. "It's over. You brought her home. She's safe, sleeping upstairs in _her_ room, _her_ bed."

He bobbed his head in acknowledgement of all that she said. He knew it was true, he did, but his mind just wouldn't obey. "I… I can't sleep," he mumbled, his voice raspy with all the built up tension. "I… I just can't." His eyes welled up with tears. "Every time I close my eyes… I… I see her in that cage."

"Shh," she soothed, scooting closer to him. "It's okay… it's okay."

"It's not, Beckett!" he snapped, glowering at her. "It was Alexis… she was taken, and put in a cage… if… God, Kate, everyday we both see what evil humanity is capable of."

"I know," Kate replied, curling up into his side, letting him feel the warmth of her body. She wrapped an arm around his waist and burrowed into him, pressing a soft kiss against his jaw. "Just try not to think about it, okay?"

He let out a derisive laugh. "That's just it… I can't," he answered, somewhat bitterly. "My mind doesn't work that way. Call it a writer's curse, if you will, but I keep imagining the worse case scenario."

"Castle," she breathed out, all sympathetic and understanding. "You can't focus on the 'what ifs'. Focus on the here and now, and what is real. What really happened, not what _could_ or _might_ have happened, but on what _did_."

He inclined his head, knew she was right. Alexis was home, safe and sound, sleeping upstairs in her bed.

"You're right," he croaked out.

Kate raised her head to look at him. She beamed at him, eyes sparkling. "Damn straight I'm right," she winked at him, trying to lighten the mood, and then she leaned up to press her lips against his. He closed his eyes and sighed into her mouth, feeling some of the tension release.

"Wanna talk about it?" she questioned, giving her a concerned look.

"No… not yet," he replied after a brief hesitation. "I'm… not ready."

"Okay," Kate replied softly in complete understanding. Her fingers brushed through his hair. "When you are, I'm here. Always."

He gave her a weak smile, so very grateful to have her here with him. She pressed her lips softly against the corner of his mouth, rubbing their noses together, before resting her forehead against his.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Just be here… with me, please," Castle murmured, slipping his arms around her to bring her closer, needing to feel the reassuring presence of her warm body next to his.

She inclined her head, dipping down to kiss him once more, before cuddling in and burrowing her nose into the crook of his neck. Castle sighed in gratitude and relief, so thankful she was her, and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

_2\. At two they reassured each other._

* * *

He was still awake. Even with her warm body pressed snuggly against his, with her breath blowing softly across his shoulder and neck at a relaxing rhythm… he just couldn't sleep. Castle loathed waking her, but he needed to talk. As gently as he could, he shifted, moving his hand up to her shoulder to give her a little shake.

Her eyelids fluttered open slowly, and she nuzzled into him for a moment, breathing him in, letting her lips brush across the cords of his neck before she turned to gaze up at him with a sleepy smile.

"Castle?" she questioned, her nose wrinkling adorably.

He pursed his lips and smiled down at her, still couldn't believe how lucky he was to finally have her here, in bed with him, even if they were still both fully clothed and they were doing nothing but cuddling… they were still in _his_ bed.

"I'm ready."

"Ready?" she furrowed her brow, still groggy.

"To talk," he supplied with a meek smile.

"Oh… yeah, okay," she inclined her head, shifting onto her side as she brought a hand up to brush back her hair from her forehead. "Where do you want to start?"

"Firstly, I just want to thank you," he said, needing to say it.

"You're welcome," she knitted her eyebrows together, confused. "For what?"

"For being here with me, for my mother… for Alexis, but mostly, I guess… for… for not making a promise you couldn't keep," he replied after a brief hesitation, not entirely sure of what he wanted to say.

"Oh," Kate's eyes grew wide with understanding. She gazed down at him for a moment before continuing. "I understand. I shouldn't have even tried to—"

"No," he shook his head, giving her a soft smile of assurance. "It's who you are. Don't ever apologize before being you. You are compassionate and caring, and that's what makes you so amazing at your job."

"Still… I shouldn't make such promises," Kate replied, a hint of shame in her voice. "It was selfish of me, really. I wanted to make you feel better—make everything better," she ground out in frustration, and it stunned him to see how much she had been affected by this as well, "but I was at a lost as of what to do. I've never felt so out of control."

"Neither have I," he said. "I thought I had… when you were shot," his voice cracked a bit, and he had to close his eyes for a second before he could continue without the heavy emotion lacing his voice. "But losing Alexis… nothing, and I mean _nothing_ , could have prepared me for that. I was so terrified, Kate. I've never been so afraid in my life. Never."

"That's understandable," Kate replied, running a hand reassuringly up and down his arm. "Anyone would be."

"I know, I know," he bobbed his head, shifting his head on the pillow to look at her. He offered a week smile. "I feel like I was lost… for those days of not knowing, being unable to do anything but wait."

"Now you know," she said softly.

Castle frowned, confused. He shifted onto his side and gazed down at her. "What?" he questioned, reaching up to brush back her hair from her face. "What do you mean?"

Kate sighed and ducked her head, averting her eyes. "It's how I felt when my mother was died," she explained.

He watched as she swallowed in a gasp of hair and clenched her jaw as she fought her emotions. When she looked back up at him, her eyes were watery.

"Kate?"

"When I came to be with you that night, only to find Martha and the FBI team," she told him, "I was unprepared for the swell of emotions that hit me when I realized you were gone… and hadn't told me."

"Oh, Kate… I wasn't trying to block you out, at least not intentionally," Castle sighed, shamefaced at deceiving her. He held her cheek in his palm. She closed her eyes and eased into his touch. "I get tunnel vision, when it comes to Alexis."

She opened her eyes; the tears streaking down her cheeks. "I can't believe this," she choked out, letting out a sharp laugh as she leaned back to wipe at her eyes. "I'm supposed to be reassuring you, and here I am blubbering like a baby."

"Shh, it's okay," he murmured, tightening his hold on her as he pressed his forehead against hers. "We can reassure each other."

Kate released a deep breath and inclined her head. She reached up and placed both hands on each side of his face. "I was so afraid I was going to lose you, Castle," she said. "I couldn't lose you. I… I wouldn't survive."

Castle wrapped his hands around her trembling body as she let out some more tears. He ran his hands up and down her back, feeling her quiver with each intake of breath. Once she'd calmed, Kate leaned back and lightly slapped his chest.

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear?" she admonished.

"I won't," he answered.

"I don't think you understand, Castle," she said, running her hand along his arm and up his neck to palm his jaw. "I'm not just talking about you going off half-cocked. What I'm saying is that if you ever need to do it again—and I really hope you don't, but if you do, then I'm coming with you. We go off half-cocked together. Okay?"

Castle let out a soft laugh. "Okay."

"Together. Deal?" she questioned, giving him one of her hard stares, her voice leaving no room for argument.

"Deal," he agreed with a bob of his head.

He closed his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. Hearing her words made his heart swell. Without even knowing it, Kate had just admitted to him the depths of her feelings.

Or maybe she did know what she was doing.

He couldn't be too sure with her sometimes. He liked to think he knew how her mind ticked, but she really was a mystery at times and was quite capable of surprising him. The way they started this relationship was evident of that. Never in a million years would he have expected Kate Beckett to show up at his door declaring that all she wanted was him.

Castle sighed, and dropped his forehead to hers. "I appreciate that, Kate, I really do," he said. "Thank you."

Kate inclined her head and pressed a brief kiss against his lips. "It must have been difficult," she said. "Being alone out there, without me as back-up."

His lips tugged upwards, knowing that that last bit was added to try and lighten the mood. "It was. I'd never been so… hard… so cold. I was focus on one thing, and one thing only. Nothing else mattered." Castle licked his lips as he looked off into space, thinking about his experiences in Paris. "The most terrifying part was seeing her in the cage, surrounded by Russian goons. I mean… the things an image like that conjures up… as a writer, and having shadowed you, I couldn't help but imagine other scenarios… much worse than reality." He paused, heaving in a deep breath. "It was such a horrific image. I can't begin to understand what it must have been like for her. It's hard to think about it… I don't want to, but I just can't stop thinking—"

"Same here," she admitted softly, curling into his side. "I know I have no claim to her, I'm just your girlfriend, but I felt it to. It was like part of myself had been ripped away. I felt useless when—"

"Kate, no… you're more than _just_ my girlfriend," Castle cut her off with a light laugh, snagging her around the waist to pull her closer. "You're so much more."

"Castle," she warned lightly, feeling self-conscious, pressing a hand to his chest to hold him back.

"You're a part of this family," Castle asserted, his voice as firm as his own conviction. "Maybe not by blood or name, but you are. The fact you care so much about Alexis is proof of that."

Kate swallowed and looked at him with a startled expression. He raised his eyebrows, stunned at his own declaration. He hadn't been trying to be so brazen as he had, but it had come out, unable to stay away. Honestly, it was the truth. And if he'd learn anything from the past couple of days, it was that life was too precious to waste in subtlety. Though, at the same time, he didn't want to push her too far, too fast. Castle was willing to let this relationship progress at her pace. Frankly, he had been pleasantly surprised when she gave him an empty drawer for Valentine's Day. Such a big step was a true testament to how much she was invested in them.

"Thank you, Castle, I… I'm honored you think so," she finally managed to respond, her cheeks flushing slightly in a modest blush.

"Mother and Alexis think so too," he informed her. "So… get used to it, you're stuck with us."

She chuckled, arching her neck back as she laughed. He grinned, feeling more lighthearted than he had before, and it was because of her. Her laugh was gorgeous, just like her, and he would do anything to hear her laugh for the rest of his life.

"Well, I'll make sure to thank them as well in the morning," Kate said, cuddling back into him and brushing a lingering kiss to his lips. "Now, unless there is more, try and sleep, Castle, you need it. Anything else can keep till morning."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: While not necessarily too explicit, this chapter is Rated M for sexual content.

* * *

** _3\. At three he just needed her._ **

* * *

With a startled jerk, he woke to consciousness with ragged breaths and a heaving chest. His brow was beaded in droplets of sweat, and his hair was damped and matted. He inhaled deeply, filling his lungs, and exhaled slowly, trying to expel the demons of his nightmares. Once again, his writer's curse had returned to haunt him, packing his dreams with unwanted scenarios of what he could have found when he'd skipped off on his Mother and Beckett, jumping on the first plane to Paris. Even though he had already been aware of the things that happened in the darker parts of humanity, he still wished he'd never seen _Taken_ … that movie alone gave his subconscious enough terrible scenarios to envision.

Though the worse of the worse was the fear that he'd find her, but would be too late, and she'd be gone… forever gone. He wouldn't survive if he'd lost his little girl. At one point during the past couple of days, he had thought he had. When Sara had been returned, but not Alexis. At that time, he believed that Alexis was just collateral to the kidnappers, still completely unaware of the true reasoning behind the girls' abduction. The other revelations that followed were still a bit of shock to him. He still had trouble reconciling it all.

But the nightmare lingered, haunting his waking thoughts. He had enough real world experience seeing crime scenes while shadowing Beckett to provide a wealth of imagery to supply his nightmares for a lifetime. Not to mention the heartache and agony of watching Beckett bleed out in his arms. With both events, Alexis's abduction and Beckett's shooting, he might not have been the one to experience it, but he had just as much emotional trauma as both Kate and Alexis.

Castle blinked slowly, gazing up at the ceiling as he tried to rid his mind's eye of those images and focus on the reassuring warmth of the body pressed against him in bed, but he couldn't. All he felt was that hollowness in his chest that had occupied his heart for the past couple of days until he finally laid eyes on his little girl and knew she was alright. He had never felt such emptiness and despair. It had changed him. And he didn't like what he had become when that happened.

Kate stirred beside him, her fingers grasping slightly as she clutched at his shirt. Neither of them had changed before collapsing in bed, both still fully dressed, minus shoes and socks.

"Castle?" she questioned, groggily, still half-asleep. When he didn't respond, she pushed herself up to gaze down at him, concern etched on her features. "What is it? Are you okay?"

He licked his lips, and swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat as he gazed up at her. He'd never felt this way, this empty and alone, especially when he was with her. But he did. His emotions were getting the better of him and he was spiraling down into that abysmal dark despair again. He needed to be reminded that there was still good in the world, that he was still capable of feeling joy. He needed to feel alive.

"Castle?" Kate questioned, running her hand soothingly along his chest to gain his attention. "What do you need?"

He let out a soft breath at the realization. "I need you."

His voice was thick with it, and by the way her eyes flicked down to his lips and then back up to his eyes, Castle knew Kate immediately caught his meaning. She shifted, sitting up next him, offering him a warm understanding smile, so very loving as well, before she lowered her hands to the hem of her white turtleneck and pulled it up and over her head, tossing it aside as she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. Running her hands back over her chest as her hair settled around her face, she shrugged her shoulders, slipping out of her bra, leaving herself bare before him.

"God, you're so beautiful," he groaned, soaking up the image of her, the woman he loved. He was so grateful, so very grateful to be allowed to see her like this, without any barrier, both physical and emotional. She was open and honest with him as she had never been before. And he loved her all the more for it. "I don't deserve you."

She shushed him. "Hush now, you do… you so do, Castle," Kate disagreed. She leaned in and kissed him soundly, silencing any more of his protestations of being unworthy. Her tongue slid out and teasingly dashed across his lower lip.

He let out a soft moan, giving her entrance, as she slipped her tongue past his lips to do battle with his. She won easily, and soon she was coaxing another moan from deep within him. Pulling back, she nipped at his mouth as her fingers danced down his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt with deft ease. He closed his eyes as she kissed him again, slow and sweetly, while her fingers worked with the buckle of his belt.

Kate finished with his belt and swept her hands back up his bare chest, parting his shirt open and scraping her fingernails against his skin. He hissed in pleasure, his heart thumping wildly as he gazed up at her, nipping at her lips as she pulled away from him, grinning mischievously. Castle brought his hands up to gather her hair up behind her head as he followed her back, kissing her hard as he spun them, maneuvering her around until she was underneath him. She let out a soft giggle as he nibbled at her neck, his hand affectionately caressing her skin as he kissed his way down her chest.

Castle paused when he reached her breasts. He sucked in a deep breath, letting his eyes gaze upon the evidence of just how close he'd come to losing her that faithful day. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into her flesh, tilting his head slightly to press a soft reverent kiss against the marred skin of her scar. Her breath hitched up and she cradled the side of his face in her palm, her thumb caressing his cheek.

He pressed another kiss against her chest, moving his hands up to cup her breasts, teasing her nipples with his fingers as he continued his downward kisses.

"Castle," Kate moaned, raking her fingers through his hair as he brushed past her navel, rubbing his nose into her, causing her to giggle softly.

"Stop tickling me, Castle," she laughed, breathlessly.

He smirked and peppered her stomach with light kisses, earning him a half-hearted glare and warning that if he didn't take care of her soon, then she'd do it herself.

Castle chuckled as he unsnapped the button of her slacks and hooked his fingers beneath the waistband, tugging them down her long legs. Kate shifted her hips, helping. Castle ran his hands up her now bare legs, moving up her body to kiss her once again.

Kate reached up and shoved his shirt down. He rolled his shoulders, leaning back to help her as they finally removed him of his shirt. He pulled his arms back and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her closer as they rolled over again, her landing on top of him with a saucy grin. She kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip as she shifted above him, dropping her hands to his waist. She finished unbuckling his belt and yanked at his pants. He lifted his hips off the mattress and together they pulled his pants off, ending with Castle giving a final couple kicks to dislodge his foot from a stubborn pant leg that wouldn't let go.

They both had a laugh about that, and Castle couldn't have been happier. It was good to hear her laugh, something she did more often now than before, and he was pleased to think that he had something to do with that. Kate Beckett was remarkable, frustrating, and maddening at times, but she brought him so much joy that the bad times could never outweigh the good. He was a better man for having known her, and he hoped he could continue _knowing_ her for a long time to come.

Kate slowly climbed back up onto him, curling into him as she kissed him deeply, managing to coax yet another moan from his deep within his chest. He growled, and gripped her hips, pulling her closer as he turned them over, once again pinning her beneath him. She grinned at him and arched up into his touch as his hands dropped down to caress her breasts and smooth body.

She rolled her hips against his, pulling a groan from him when she brushed against his arousal. Castle moved his hands down her sides, slipping his fingers underneath the fabric of her panties. He locked eyes with her and she smiled at him, her hooded eyes shining with desire and love. Castle closed his eyes and he slanted his lips over hers, tugging her panties down her long beautiful legs.

Castle smirked into her mouth as he kissed her quickly, sliding a hand between her thighs and touching her wet core. She shivered and grinned up at him, giving him a sultry look. He returned the smirk with one of his own, groaning at the feel of her under his teasing fingers, so very ready for him.

"Don't keep me waiting, Castle," she commanded, breathy with want, her eyes dark with desire.

Castle let out a low groan and quickly chucked his boxers. She opened her legs, inviting him in as he settled between down them, running his hands up her side, teasing her ribs and caressing the bottom curve of her breasts with his thumbs. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as they kissed.

"I'm all yours, Castle," she murmured into his mouth in that sexy hushed bedroom voice of hers. "Always."

"Always," he returned, leaning forward to kiss her. Castle shifted his hips and slowly sank into her, completing them in away he'd never get tired of. Kate's mouth dropped as she let out a soft moan. He let out a sigh of relief, relishing the feel of being surrounded by her once again. Kate caressed the side of his face, kissing him softly, tender and loving, giving him all that he needed and more.

She was everything he ever wanted or needed, and being with her again, it eased his worries away. The rest of the world dissolved and it was just them. He loved her so very much. And when he was with her, he was in heaven.

Kate wiggled her hips as he continued pushing into her, until he was buried to the hilt. He shifted his hands, brushing back her hair as he memorized her flushed cheeks and open mouth. Her eyes were half closed, filled with such happiness that he couldn't help but smile in return. He waited, letting her adjust to his intrusion before pulling back and bucking into her. She let out a soft gasp, her legs squeezing his waist in encouragement as he moved inside her.

Castle basked in the feel of their flesh touching, needing to run his hands over every inch he could. She writhed under him, undulating her hips in perfect synchronization with his deep thrusts. He palmed her breast in his hand and squeezed lightly as he trailed kisses along her jaw and neck, finding her pulse point with ease. Kate let out a low moan, clutching him tighter as he pushed further into her thrumming heat.

Things only escalated from there. The air was soon thick with the hot dampness of passionate lovemaking. It clung to them as they moved in a fierce and steady rhythm. His fingers tangled in her hair, clutching her to him as his mouth devoured hers with a ferocious hunger, an almost primal need. Her body writhed and trembled beneath his as his hips rolled around with purpose between her slender thighs.

His hand slid between her breasts, resting over her heart, feeling it flutter as she gasped out in pleasure, softly moaning his name as he took her in an almost possessive way, like he was making love to her for the first and the last time. Castle flicked his eyes up to lock gazes with her, drinking in the love and passion that radiated out of her gorgeous hazel eyes.

Her mouth dropped and her lower lip quivered as he pounded into her in an aggressive motion. His hands roamed her body, touching and caressing all of her. She returned the favor, touching him in all the right places. She knew his body almost as well as he knew hers. And they fit together so perfectly, it would have made the gods weep to see such beautiful symmetry. He gasped into her mouth as they shared the surround air, breathing together as they moved together. Their limbs tangled and their fingers intertwined as they basked in the bliss they found in each other.

Panting breaths rose like stream as their bodies continued to mingle, their flesh tingling and exciting one another. There was a brief lull in their activities, as they lay there in the dampness, clutching each other, chests heaving while they simply stared at one another, memorizing the sights, scents, and sensations almost like it was their first time all over again.

Kate curled her hand around his arm, slanting into him as her gorgeous naked body sprawled across his. She leaned up, capturing his lips with a gentleness that belied the true intensity that simmered beneath the surface, and within moments the devouring resumed. Castle moaned into her mouth, letting his hands drop to her hips, squeezing and caressing the perfect curve of her backside, as he eased her around onto her back.

Castle latched onto her neck, sucking on her pulse point as she moaned in rich approval, her hands clutching his shoulders as he slid his knee between her legs, still slick with the moist dew of their lovemaking. His thigh brushed against her core, providing some delicious friction. She moaned, arching up to him, begging him to stop teasing her. Castle smiled, dipping down to press his lips against hers, while he used his knee to gently push her legs apart, once again settling between them with relish. He nipped at her jaw and sealed her lips in a fierce kiss as he slowly eased back into her. Kate arched into him, rolling her hips to match his.

He held her in his arms, rocking into her with greater force as he lost himself in the euphoria of being with her always brought him. Her mouth dropped on a gasp, a soft cry of pleasure expelling for her lungs as she tightened around him, so very close. Her voice was breathy and hot, urging him on. He ran a hand up her supple body to find her breast, kneading the flesh softly as he continued to roll into her. Her cheeks flushed as she breathed out. Her lips trembled open and she panted his name, pleading with desperate want for him to take her over the edge.

He did just that. And he followed, soon after, holding her to him with a frightening fierce need.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

_4\. At four he needed to relax._

* * *

He really should be asleep. After the energy he'd just expelled with Kate, so very pliant and willing under him, Castle expected to be asleep right now. But he wasn't. He had drifted off in a post-coital bliss, but now he was awake. He was still exhausted, both mentally and physically, but he just couldn't sleep.

His skin was still damp, his hair mussed, from their fierce lovemaking. A slow smile spread across his face, breaking his melancholy, as he remembered the passion and intensity of which they'd made love. Truth be told, he believed that they had both needed that most intimate and heated reaffirmation of life. Through what little they'd discussed since his return, he'd gathered that the past week had been just as trying on her as it had been on him.

It had been something Castle had really needed, and Kate had been all too happy to comply. Her teasing smile and skilled touch still sent tingles throughout his body. However, something was missing.

Castle turned onto his side, stretching his arm to reach out for her, but found nothing but empty sheets. She hadn't been gone for long, as her warmth still lingered, but it was hard not to notice her absence. Frowning, he propped himself up on his elbows as he glanced around, searching the room.

"Kate?" he called out, his voice a little hoarse.

"I'm in here!"

Castle spun around, rolling onto his other side to find her standing there, in all her glory, in the doorway to the attached ensuite, the curves of her beautiful body highlighted in a soft halo of warm light. His eyebrows knitted together as he sat up and stared at her, momentarily overwhelmed by how stunning she was. Shaking his head, he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear his head.

"What… what are you doing in the bathroom?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, confused.

"Why don't you get out of bed and find out," she teased back, tossing him a come-hither look as she pirouetted in place, gracing him with a wonderful view of her perfect backside as she slipped back into the bathroom.

Befuddled and a little intrigued—not to mention aroused—Castle pushed himself up off the mattress and made his way over to the doorway. He hesitated at the threshold, peeking a little inside the warmly lit room before stepping inside.

Kate was perched on the edge of the bathtub, her back arched as she leaned forward to skim her fingertips along the surface of the hot water. She'd pulled her hair up into a messy bun in a fashion he'd seen her use many times when she'd take relaxing baths after a long hard day at the precinct.

Taking note of his presence, she turned her head to flick her eyes up at him in a sultry move that had him gulping. He milked in the image before him; her long legs were crossed as she smiled enticingly at him, her left hand still swimming around behind her as she tested the water's temperature.

"It's nice and warm," Kate said. "Care to join me?"

Castle bobbed his head, maybe a little more enthusiastically than necessary, making Kate laugh lightly. She held out a hand, beckoning him over. He grinned and took her proffered hand, letting her guide him to the bathtub. He cautiously raised one foot over the rim, testing the water with his toes, before slipping his foot under the water and fully stepping into the tub. Kate stood up and joined him, and together they slowly eased down into the warm water.

He leaned against the edge, pulling her with him. She let out a low chuckle, rich and full, curling into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she tilted her head to kiss him slowly. Pulling back, she let out a contented sigh as she turned around so she could lean back into his chest. Castle nuzzled his nose into her hair, breathing in her unique fragrance—all sex and her—as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist, spreading his palm wide across the flat planes of her stomach.

"I missed you," he confessed, unashamed.

She wiggled further into him, running her hands along his arms until finding his in her lap, interlacing their fingers. "Still having trouble sleeping?" she asked, her brow creasing with worry.

"Yes," he inclined his head in confirmation. "I thought after… well, I thought I'd have exhausted myself, but evidently not enough."

Kate laughed softly, arching her neck to glance back at him. "I was wondering," she said. "You were a little more—"

" _Rough_?"

"I was going to say _aggressive_ ," she supplied with a sly grin. "No complaints here though. Four times… I'd say that's a record. Even for us." Kate quirked up an eyebrow as she looked at him with a satisfied expression.

"You trying to stroke my ego?" he playfully crooned back, pleased with the lightness of their conversation.

"Am I?" she asked, giving him a dubious look. "Or… I can stroke something else." She twisted a hand around her back to ghost her fingers up his thigh, tantalizing him in ways only she could.

"I'm good for now," he managed to choke out.

She offered a low chuckle as she pulled back her hand, teasingly scraping her nails into his thigh, until she sighed and leaned back into him. He let out a self-deprecating laugh, and nuzzled his nose into her neck, trying to stifle the flush of heat burning his cheeks.

"Don't want to wear myself out," he offered as way of explanation.

"I was only teasing," she assured him. "That was before, now we are just relaxing… our muscles certainly need it."

He grinned, leaning into her. "I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself," he said.

" _Enjoyed yourself?_ " she echoed, scoffing slightly as she shook her head. "Understatement of the century, Castle! As I said before… four times… _four_! And that was without you really trying to get me to…"

"Aright, alright… I get it. My ego is thoroughly stroked," he interjected, smirking into her hair. "It was amazing, wasn't it?"

"Yes. It was," Kate agreed with a satisfied smile, turning around to face him, the warm water sloshing around them. "Actually," she ducked her head shyly, flicking her eyes up to look at him. "It's always amazing with you. Every. Single. Time." She punctuated her statement with a lingering kiss, running a hand up the side of his face, leaving him breathless.

Castle was honestly stunned that she'd just admitted that. Sure, he was well aware that sex between them was awesome, but to hear her say it like she had, left him wondering if she was implying he was the best she'd ever had. And that… well, that just left him speechless.

"Did you… did you just say what I think you said?" he questioned, looking into her eyes.

Kate's lips tugged up slightly as she blushed. "I… I guess I did. Yes."

He smiled at her, and ran his hand down her back, letting it come to rest on the curve of her hip. His fingers slowly curled around her to pull her closer. He dipped his head down and slanted his lips over hers in a deep loving kiss. Pulling back, Castle rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily as he closed his eyes and allowed her scent to permeate the air around him.

"You're extraordinary," he whispered, brushing his nose against hers, and kissing her cheek affectionately. "And for the record, you're the best I've ever had too."

Kate bit her lower lip and blushed bright pink, averting her eyes bashfully. He found it amusing that she was still so self-conscious when it came to accepting compliments, especially when they were both sitting stark naked in the middle of his bathtub.

"Really?" she asked, somewhat unbelieving.

Castle couldn't believe her. He snagged her around the waist and tugged her nude body into his. She curled around, leaning her side into him, her legs stretching out between his as she rested her head against his chest.

" _Really_ ," he asserted, proud of the firm conviction in his voice, because in all honesty it was the truth. No woman had ever loved him, both emotionally and physically, the way Kate Beckett did. And to prove his point, he reached down to cup her face in his hand, tilting her jaw up so he could press his lips over hers and kiss her until their lung ached with the need for air.

Kate sighed as they parted, and nuzzled into him. He wrapped his arms around her, dipping down to press a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"This is nice," he said.

"Told you so," she replied sleepily against his chest.

Castle rubbed his hands up and down her arms, holding her to him as he leaned back against the edge of the tub, letting the warm water soothe away his worries and fears. He closed his eyes and willed himself to drift away. The water was comforting and Kate's body was smooth and pliable against his. He sighed, and allowed his body to relax.

When his eyes fluttered open, he noticed the change in the water's temperature had gone from hot to lukewarm. He shook his head, clearing the cobwebs and looked down at Kate, still tucked into his chest. He nuzzled his nose into her hair, gently shaking her.

"Kate?" he whispered.

"Hmm?" she hummed in response.

"I think we should get out," he asserted, "before the water gets too cold."

Kate blinked a few times before fully opening her eyes and glancing up at him. She shifted, and brought a hand up to rub her forehead. "Yeah… right," she said. "Don't want to get all pruney."

He chuckled and bobbed his head in agreement, leaning down to capture her lips in a quick kiss. She let out a surprised gasp, and smiled into his mouth, tugging him back in for another kiss. Pulling back, she smirked at him, her eyes sparkling, as she gripped the rim of the bathtub and pulled herself up. Castle swallowed hard, and allowed his eyes to follow her up, mesmerized by the way the water dripped from her nude form.

"Like what you see?" Kate teased as she gracefully stepped out of the tub, stretching around to snatch an extra soft cotton towel.

"Yes… very much," he choked out, always amazed at her beauty.

"Get up and we can share the towel," she said, draping the large towel over her shoulders and holding it open in offering.

Castle pulled himself up and climbed out of the tub, stepping eagerly into her inviting arms as she wrapped the towel around them, snuggling closer to him. He snaked his arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly, holding her close as she cuddled into his chest, resting her head on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, just basking in the feel of being in each others arms, before Kate began drying him off. He smiled softly, and stretched out to grab another towel, so that he might return the favor. She grinned, her eyes sparkling with happiness as they took their time, slowly drying each other off.

Beaming up at him, she nipped at his jaw, playfully curling her fingers around his neck as he swept the towel down the curve of her back, taking great pleasure in running the cloth across her perfect little derrière. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to give her a playful pinch, which cause her to laugh and feign indignation as she lightly slapped his chest.

"You're incorrigible, Castle," she mumbled, hiding her blushing face in his chest.

"How can I resist when you're so adorable," he answered, smoothing the sensitive flesh with a brush of his fingers, enjoying the heated blush blossoming across Kate's cheeks as he ran his hand back up the perfect curve of her backside.

After some more teasing, on both sides, they finally finished drying off, and slowly made their way back to the bedroom. Kate tied her hair into a loose ponytail before she rifled through the drawers looking for a t-shirt to wear to bed. Castle located his pajama bottom and tugged them up, pulling a white t-shirt over his head as well. He watched with glee as Kate stretched her body deliciously, giving him quite a show, while pulling on an oversized NYPD gym shirt, the hem reaching just about mid-thigh, providing him with a generous view of her long legs. She looked at him with pursed lips and shook her head at him, no doubt knowing where his attention was.

"Here," he said, handing over a pair of his boxers, which she accepted with a tight smile, putting them on with a saucy grin.

"You like it when I wear you're clothes, don't you?" she asked as they climbed back into bed.

"You, my dear detective, can make anything sexy," he rumbled out as he tugged her to him, pressing his nose into her neck and lightly kissing her shoulder.

She sighed, and curled into him, tenderly running her hand up and down his chest. "You think you can sleep now?" she asked, tucking her head in the crook of his neck.

"I hope so," he answered, furrowing his brow, still uncertain whether he could sleep. During the past two hours, she'd provided him with some distraction, but everything still weighed heavily on him.

"Just try and close your eyes," she mumbled out, sleepily, burrowing further into him. "If you still can't sleep, don't be afraid to wake me, okay? I'm here for you, Castle. No matter what."

His throat constricted with emotion. Castle clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on her, pulling her even closer. "I love you," he murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss into the top of her head.

She made a soft sound in response, but didn't really answer him. His eyes flicked down and he looked at her. Kate's eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. A small smile tugged on his lips as he realized she had fallen asleep in his arms. He shifted further down into the mattress, cuddling in with her, willing himself to follow her lead.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

_5\. At five he needed to see her._

* * *

Castle was still awake when the glowing red digits on the alarm clock, sitting on the bedside table, switched on over to 5 AM. He sighed, wishing he could sleep, but he was unable to do so, despite how much he longed to close his eyes and drift away. But every time he did so, his mind was assaulted with horrific images of his precious little girl in terrifying scenarios—scenarios that were so far from the truth of what happened, but could have, if circumstances had been different.

He laid there, one arm hooked up behind his back, his hand cradling the back of his head against the pillow. Flicking his eyes down, Castle glanced at the woman tucked into his side, her head resting on his shoulder with her hand curled into his chest. One of his arms was wrapped around her, his hand gently stroking her shoulder. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, her expression relaxed and content. He was a little envious that Kate could sleep while he remained wide-awake.

Heaving in a deep breath, Castle closed his eyes, trying to seek reassurance in her warm body cuddled into his. But it didn't work. Despite everything they'd done in the past couple of hours to distract themselves from what had happened, he still couldn't help thinking of the ordeal his little girl had to go through. He just couldn't rest, not when he didn't know how Alexis was doing at present: If she was sleeping soundly, or if she was tossing and turning in her bed, nightmares scaring her away from sleep.

There was only one thing that could calm him, one thing that could reassure him.

He had to see her.

He had to see his little girl.

Tightening his hold on Kate's shoulder, he gently shook her. Quietly pleading with her to wake up. "Kate… Kate," he softly called her name, dipping his head down to whisper light kisses along her brow.

Kate's eyes slowly fluttered open. She knitted her eyebrows together as she gave a little shake of her head. "Castle?" she mumbled, scrunching up her nose to look at him, adorably confused.

"I need to see her, Kate," he said, gently stroking her arm. "I need to check on my little girl."

Kate blinked several times, frowning in thought, before leaning back, propping herself up on her elbow to look up at him. "Huh?" she brought her free hand up to rub the sleep away from her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Five," he answered.

"Oh," she suppressed a yawn, holding the back of her hand over her mouth as she looked across him at the alarm clock. "Were you able to get any sleep?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head. "No."

Kate sighed, and sat up, brushing her hair away from her face as she continued to wake herself up. "Sorry," she replied, sincere and genuine as she caressed the side of his face, running her hand up and across his forehead, sweeping her fingers through his mussed hair. "So, you said you needed to see her?" she questioned, knitting her eyebrows together as she sought confirmation.

Castle inclined his head. "Yes. I… I just need to."

She ran her hand down his arm and interlaced their fingers, squeezing his hand tightly in reassurance. "Want me to come with you?"

He licked his lips and inhaled a quick breath of air. "Please."

It came out almost as a whimper, but he was unashamed of his need for her support. She had been his only solid ground throughout this whole ordeal, and she'd been so supportive and comforting to him this night, he just couldn't be separated from her right now.

Kate gave a gentle nod, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against his lips before pulling the sheet back and climbing out of bed. Castle rolled over onto his side and propped himself up, sitting on the edge of the mattress for a moment. He scrubbed his hands over his face, slumping his shoulders from the fatigue and exhaustion of the day and sleepless night.

She came around the foot of the bed and sat down besides him, tenderly rubbing his back. "Don't worry, Castle, we'll beat this insomnia," she murmured.

He bobbed his head, not completely unconvinced, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. He desperately hoped she was right, because this 'not sleeping thing' was killing him.

Kate put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "Just take slow, natural breaths," she said, stretching up to give his cheek a quick peck before standing up. "I'll be right back."

Castle watched as she crossed the room to retrieve their robes from the bathroom. She returned shortly, already with her deep purple robe wrapped around her. Kate held his imperial blue robe open, giving him a warm encouraging smile. He tried to return her smile, but faltered. Sighing, he pushed himself up and allowed her to help him slip into his robe. Turning in place, Castle looked down at her as she adjusted the robe around him before running her hand down his arm and finding his, slowly interlacing their fingers.

"Let's go check on Alexis," she said, tugging him along as she led the way.

Together, with her arm wrapped around his, they made their way through the loft and up the stairs. He hesitated at the door to her room, feeling uncertain. If Alexis had managed to actually fall asleep, Castle did not want to disturb her. Noticing his reluctance, Kate squeezed his hand, giving him a reassuring smile.

With a grateful nod, so thankful to have her at his side, Castle inhaled a deep breath, screwing up the willpower to actually open the door. He raised his hand and couldn't help but notice the slight tremble. Clenching his jaw, he tightened his hand into a fist, and squeezed Kate's hand harder with the other. Kate leaned against, using her free hand to rub comforting patterns along his back, soothing him as best she could.

Exhaling quietly, Castle unclenched his hand and reached for the doorknob, slowly curling his fingers around the cool metal. He unhurriedly turned the knob, attempting to minimize any noise he might create by opening the door. When he heard the soft click of the tumblers, he gently pushed the door open, wincing as he waited for the hinges to creak. Thankfully they did not.

"Come on," Kate whispered beside him, tugging on his hand and drawing him across the threshold and into his daughter's room.

And there she was, tucked in under her blankets, peacefully slumbering in what appeared to be a dreamless sleep. Her long fiery orange hair was fanned out around her, reminding him of when she was six and had declared she wasn't going to let him cut her hair anymore so that she could have 'long princess hair'. Oh, and she was… she was _his_ princess.

Castle swallowed past the lump in his throat as he gazed down at his precious little girl… not so little anymore. It was so hard for him to admit that she was no longer a girl, but a woman. A beautiful young woman.

He let out a sharp breath, a little more loudly than he'd like. Kate's gaze flicked up to him, and she squeezed his hand. "She's so perfect, Kate," he managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper. "I… I can't believe how perfect she is. How could I be a part of that? Creating something so perfect?"

Kate sighed and leaned into him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Castle," she answered. "You're an amazing father. Any girl would be lucky to have a father like you."

"Really?" he question, disbelieving, tilting his head as he continued to gaze down at his sleeping daughter.

"Absolutely," Kate affirmed. "Just look at what you did for her. You risk so much—everything—just to get your daughter back. Not every father has that kind of strength, Castle."

He turned his head and looked down at her. Kate pursed her lips and gave him a weak smile. "Not every father has the funds I have," Castle joked, feeling the need to lighten the mood a bit. He never did well in somber surroundings. He was always the happy-go-lucky one, and part of that was a defense mechanism, one he'd used many times to cope with things he didn't want to deal with.

"Well, you did good," she said, pulling their joined hands up to kiss his. "You did good, Rick."

Castle smiled at her and leaned into her, pressing a brief kiss to her lips, before letting go of their hands and padding across the room to Alexis's side. He crouched down beside the mattress and stared at his daughter, letting his emotions run the gambit.

Tentatively, he reached out and smoothed his hand down the back of her head, marveling at this beautiful woman he'd helped create. Pushing his toes, he arched over the mattress and pressed a gentle kiss onto her forehead, smiling softly when she made a soft noise in her sleep and snuggled further into her blankets. His eyes lit up when he caught sight of the raggedy stuffed animal tucked into her arm.

"Monkey Bunkey," he sighed, smiling warmly. Just seeing her snuggled in bed with her favorite childhood stuffed animal was more than he could have hoped. He felt his heart ease, allowing the relief to flood his veins. His muscles relaxed and the tension was washed away.

She was home. She was safe. And for the moment, she was okay. Whatever trauma she might need help through could wait until the later. What was important was that he'd be there for her. He turned his head and looked up at Kate, catching her wiping at her cheeks as she smiled back at him, so caring and loving. _No_ , he thought to himself, amending his last statement, _they_ will be there for Alexis.

Because they were in this together.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_6\. At six he could finally sleep._

* * *

After staying for probably longer than necessary, staring creepily at his daughter as she slept, Castle decided it was time to return to Kate, who had already gone back to the bedroom. He entered to find her fiddling with her hair, attempting to retie her long tresses into a loose ponytail.

His lips quirked up as he shrugged off his robe and tossed it across the back of an armchair by the window. He noticed that both windows had had their blinds drawn and the curtains pulled shut, blocking the early dawn sunlight. He felt a surge of love fill his entire being as he glanced back to Kate, so grateful for her and how thoughtful and carrying she'd been during this whole ordeal. He watched with silent delight as Kate bounced on one foot, working the hairband around as she tied it in place, unknowingly giving him quite the little performance.

"You could just leave it down," he interrupted, giving her a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

Kate huffed and blew an errant strand of hair out of her face. "But then my hair will be all messy when I wake up."

He shook his head, flashing a wiry grin. "But you look so adorable with tousled hair," Castle asserted, pushing out his bottom lip in a feigned pout. He padded around the edge of the bed to wrap his arms around her middle, squeezing her tightly to his taller frame. She leaned into him, smiling brightly as he kissed her cheek.

"That's just because you associate 'tousled hair' with sex," she countered, arching an eyebrow at him as her smile grew.

"Could be," he agreed with a light chuckle, letting her go.

Kate turned around, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a quick kiss. She sighed, moving her hands to his chest as she leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder. Castle slipped his arms around her waist and placed his chin on the top of her head.

"Feeling better?" she inquired.

"A little, yeah," he replied at length. "It did me good to see her."

"Me too."

Castle smiled into her hair as he let out a deep breath, overwhelmed by the depths of her love and compassion. He clenched his jaw and squeezed her tighter. Kate leaned back and tilted her head to gaze up at him, her eyes brimming with warmth and understanding. He moved his hand up the side of her face, letting his fingers run through her sun-kissed brunette strands.

He remembered when her hair used to be dark… as she had been: Broody and melancholy. But no longer. Now she was more open and carefree than she used to be. She was still stubborn as hell at times, but at least now, instead of ignoring the issues, they actually talked about things. Still, Castle reckoned the he could probably be a little more open about some things. After all, if she could do it, he could to, right?

On that note, he decided to broach the one topic he'd been delicately tiptoeing around for the entire evening.

"So… I… um… I met my father," Castle rushed out, feeling his shoulders tense with it. He turned and slumped down onto the mattress.

Kate followed him, tucking her legs under her as she sat down next to him. "I know," she replied, tentatively reaching out to grasp one of his hands. He glanced over at her, interlacing their fingers together. "I was there, when you told Martha."

Castle chuckled softly, remembering his Mother's stunned reaction. "I've never seen her so speechless before," he remarked, sobering quickly.

"It was kind of a shock, yes," she agreed, shifting to curl into him, wrapping an arm around his neck and the other around his middle as she laid her head on his shoulder. "How about you, Rick? How are you handling all this?" she questioned, somewhat warily, her eyes flicking up to look at him cautiously.

He sighed, and allowed his body to relax into her embrace. "To be honest, I'm still unsure what I should be feeling," he confessed.

"That's understandable," she said, rubbing his back soothingly.

"We… we just didn't have enough time," he choked out. "I had so many questions. So many things I wanted to ask him."

He heaved in a deep breath, holding back the moisture in his eyes. "He said he was proud of me. And from what I could gather, it seems like he's always kept an eye on us… Mother, Alexis, and me… hell, he even knew who you were."

"Me?"

"Yeah," he said, letting out a sigh. "As I said, he's been keeping an eye on us."

"Oh," she inclined her head back down onto his shoulder, running patterns along his chest with her fingers. "So… was he everything you hoped in a father?"

"Honestly," Castle looked down at her, furrowing his brow in thought. "I really don't know." He hesitated, taking in a deep breath. "I mean, I'd always imagined so many possibilities, and… well, I had thought I'd gotten past it, not carrying about it… about not knowing. But then… last year…" his voice trailed off.

"Sophia," Kate supplied, narrowing her eyes in anger at the woman who'd messed with both of them.

"Yeah," he sighed. "And after what she said, it… it got me thinking again. And I just felt… I don't know… this new kind of emptiness inside. Like I was just a pawn in everyone else's life."

"Oh, Castle," Kate slanted closer, holding him in her arms. "You're no one's pawn."

"Sometimes if felt like that," he said. "Especially with Smith."

Kate shifted awkwardly, and he looked at her, remembering their fight over how he'd kept his interactions with Smith hidden from her. They'd both said and done things they both regretted. And they'd both forgiven each other. Castle swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat, waiting for her response.

"You weren't," she asserted, her voice thick with emotion. "Smith wasn't your keeper. You were just trying to protect me in the only way you knew how. I didn't see it at the time. But I do now. I might not have agreed with what you did, but I understand why you did it."

He nodded as she cupped his face and leaned in for a brief kiss, relieved that despite everything that had happened that could have torn them apart, they were here now… together. Castle sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Well, I'm glad we patched things up," he said.

Kate laughed lightly against his lips. "Me too," she replied, kissing him again, before pulling him in for a lingering hug. Castle closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, relishing in the unique fragrance that was Kate Beckett.

"Though, speaking of pawns…," he said. "Alexis and I were kind of pawns in a game of revenge."

"How so?" Kate inquired, her interest peaked.

He knew she was curious. When they had returned home, he'd been reluctant to share everything that had happened. Castle brought his hand up to caress her arm, giving it an affectionate squeeze, before telling her everything—a condensed version, but enough of it for her to get the full story.

"Wow," she said, when he had finished. "That's… um… just wow." Kate furrowed her brow as she looked away. "Damn… some of that, Castle, you could have been…"

"I know," he said, swallowing. "But I didn't. He saved me. My… my Dad saved me."

"Oh god, I wish I could see him so I could thank him for saving you," she grabbed him, clutching onto him with a fierceness that surprised him. He wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. "Not without me," she repeated her demand from earlier in the evening. "Next time, not without me."

"Deal," he said, brushing a kiss against her temple. Castle leaned back and met her gaze, letting her know with his eyes that he would keep his word on that particular promise. She inclined her head and pushed up to capture his lips in another kiss.

Pulling back, Castle took a moment to think about everything. He quirked up an eyebrow, and smirked, a playful glint touching his eyes. "Thinking back, it is kind of cool that my dad turned out to be a master spy."

"Yeah, you—of all people—would find that cool," she said with a slight eye roll.

He feigned an indignant harrumph. "Make fun all you want, but now I have evidence to attest to my innate ninja skills."

Kate threw back her head and laughed, all deep and gorgeous. "Oh, that's rich, coming from the man who stumbled over his own shoes in the morning," she said, her eyes sparkled with mirth as she shook her head at him.

"One time!" he defended himself, his face flushing with embarrassment. "That happened one time… and besides, you were distracting me with…" he waved his hand in front of her chest.

Kate arched an eyebrow at him, unconvinced, and gave him a devious little smirk. "I was just getting dressed," she countered.

"Well… what can I say, you're just so hot," Castle returned her smirk with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"You're not too bad yourself, Castle," Kate replied with ease, gazing up at him with such love in her eyes. It was a phrase he first heard her say in LA. And since they had got together, she'd begun to use it more often in their banter whenever he'd complimented her on her appearance.

"Yeah, so stop making fun, okay?" he said. "Because, trust me, having a dad who's a super spy is _so_ cool."

Kate smirked. "Okay, yeah… it is," she relented, sitting back up as she brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face.

"That book, _Casino Royale_ … he sent it," he informed her. "It was his way to let me know that he made it out."

"How do you know that?" she questioned, knitting her eyebrows together adorably.

"He told me a story about meeting me once, in the New York Public Library," Castle told her. "It was when I was a kid. And he gave me a copy of _Casino Royale_. I know it was a long time ago, but I think I remember. That book… it's important to me, Kate. Besides being the first James Bond, it was also the book that made me want to become a writer. And now, I've found out, that all along it was _my_ father that gave it to me."

Kate shook her head apologetically as she laughed, bringing the back of her hand up to cover her mouth as she did so. "I'm sorry," she breathed out, her eyes lit up with amusement. "I… I just think it's kind of funny how your dad, who we now know is a spy, gave you a book about a spy."

Castle chuckled, easily seeing the humor in it. "Yeah, I guess that is kind of funny." He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled closer, rubbing his nose against her hair. She held him, rubbing her hands up and down his back. He let out a shaky breath. "Thank you, Kate."

"For what?" she questioned, frowning in confusion.

"For just being here, for me… for Alexis… for… for all of us," Castle said, clutching on to her as if she were the lone lifeboat in a sea of chaos. "Thank you so much."

Kate leaned back, bringing her hands up to hold his face. "Always," she whispered, then leaned forward and captured his lips in a slow yet passionate kiss. He sighed into her embrace, letting out a soft moan.

When they pulled back for air, Kate shifted forward, crawling onto him and resting her forehead against his, gently running her fingers along his face and chest. "I love you, Rick," she murmured, and his heart swelled with hearing those words. He really didn't need to hear her say it, she'd proven it to him with just her actions, and he read it in her eyes every time she looked at him, but it was still nice to hear her express it out loud.

"I love you, too, Kate," he mumbled into her hair. "So very much."

"I know."

Castle closed his eyes as she leaned in to press another kiss against his lips. He inhaled her scent, marveling at the feel of her so close, their bodies sharing the same space. Pulling back, he ran his hands down her back and let out a deep contented breath. And at that moment, he felt all his worries ease away—not completely gone—but lessened to a degree that he no longer felt weighed down by them.

He buried his face into the crook of her neck, working hard to stifle the sudden yawn that forced it's way out. But he was unsuccessful.

Kate leaned back, giving him a small smile. "Tired?"

Castle bobbed his head and hummed in response. He was so very exhausted from an almost sleepless week.

"Think you can get some sleep now?" she asked, running her hands up his chest until she linked her arms around his neck. "Wanna go to bed?"

He nodded.

"Come," Kate said, trailing her hands down to his, grasping them lighting as she pulled him down with her. They stretched out on the bed, staring at one another. She caressed the side of his face. "Close your eyes, Castle," she told him. "Sleep. I'll look after you."

With a sigh, he closed his eyes, coiling his arm around her waist as she rolled around, allowing him to tugged her back into his chest, letting them spoon. He shifted his head on the pillow and nuzzled his nose into the back of her head, brushing a soft kiss against the skin of her neck.

Kate let out a soft gasp, goosebumps materializing where his lips touched her skin. "Go to sleep, Castle," she instructed.

Castle inclined his head and nestled further into her, clutching her tightly as he finally let go and slipped away, finally falling blissfully into a dreamless sleep.


	7. Epilogue

* * *

_7\. At noon he saw his family._

* * *

When awareness came to him, it came slow and surely, dragging him out of his dreamless slumber and back into the world. He was warm and so very comfortable that he didn't want to move. Yet, nonetheless, he was waking. Blinking his eyes, Castle stretched out languidly across the bed. He rolled over onto his side, reaching out for her, but she was gone. He knitted his eyebrows together, for a moment confused. The last thing he remembered was spooning with Kate, her backside wiggling into him as she settled into the mattress.

He let out a sigh. He wasn't really disappointed. It would have been nice to wake still snuggled close to her, but he didn't really expect her to still be there when he woke up. Not really. Unlike him, she had actually managed to get some sleep in-between the times she comforted and reassured him throughout his sleepless night.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Castle scrubbed his face with his hands and ran his fingers through his messy hair. Stretching his arms over his head, he worked out any kinks in his back before pushing off the mattress and standing up.

He quickly made his way to the bathroom, because when nature called, he listened.

After splashing his face with water, Castle shuffled out of the bathroom and glanced around the room, smiling wistfully as he took in the rumpled sheets and pile of clothes on the floor. Last night was a contradiction in emotions. He'd been so consumed with fear and anxiety, and yet, at the same time, he'd never felt more loved and complete.

Castle had difficulty comprehending everything, but he believed that after last night he and Kate were even closer than they had been before. They had both opened up, given themselves to the other in a way they hadn't since that first night together. It was a big step. One that he was happy about.

Grabbing his robe, he shrugged it over his shoulders and padded over to the door. He yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he made his way through his office and towards the kitchen. But when he reached the door he stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide at what he was seeing.

She was standing behind the island counter, her hair pulled up into a messy bun, some stray strands fluttering across her brow, dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized purple shirt. The image was so very reminiscent of the first time she'd stayed at the loft. Castle swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, remembering.

He was so happy that things had worked out between them. It might have taken a little longer than he had hoped, but she was here now, in his home, being all adorably domestic in the kitchen. His eyes flicked back up to Kate, watching as she rested her hands on the countertop, leaning forward slightly as she listened to an animated Alexis gabbled away a mile a minute. Martha was sitting on the barstool besides Alexis, still wearing a shell-shocked expression. So she still hadn't recovered from his news of meeting his father.

Kate's hearty laugh pulled his attention back to her. He smiled, watching as she turned her attention to the stove to mix some eggs and grill—he sniffed the aroma—bacon. He began to salivate. Breakfast for lunch, one of his favorite things. If his mother and daughter weren't present, he'd have snuck up behind Kate, snaked his arms around her waist and plant a wet kiss on her neck. Then, while she was distracted, he'd snatch one or two strips of bacon and chew on them triumphantly while she graced him with one of her patented glares.

With a shake of his head, Castle turned his gaze to his daughter, and let out a soft sigh of relief, seeing her sitting there, talking and smiling, none the worse for wear. Kate picked up the pan and he watched as she dished out scrambled eggs onto three plates. She arched her back and reached behind her snatching up some toast to add to the meal.

And as she started draining the bacon, her eyes flirted up and she caught sight of him staring.

A small smile spread across her face as she turned her head just enough for their eyes to lock. Castle grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and mouthed 'I love you' while allowing his eyes to fill with all the emotions he was feeling at that very moment. Kate's smile brightened and she beamed at him, all her love shining out. Her eyes were large and expressive, and he could tell that she loved him too. She didn't have to really say it. It was written all over her face.

And then the moment was broken, her attention returning to Alexis, laughing at some joke his daughter had told. As she continued to talk to his daughter, he noticed Kate opening one of the cabinets behind her, and soon she was preparing a fourth plate. Her eyes skipped up to him again, and she graced him with a quick smile before focusing back on Alexis.

Castle leaned back against the doorframe and smiled, feeling content. For the first time that he could remember, he felt like his life was complete. He finally had the family he'd always wanted. It may not be perfect—nothing ever was. But it was _his_ family. _His_. And he wouldn't change anything about it.

With one final fleeting thought on the troubles they'd been through during the past week, Castle let out a slow exhale, expelling all his worries, and allowing himself to bask in the happiness he felt at this moment. He pushed away from the door and walked up behind Kate, smiling as he slinked an arm around her waist and leaned in to press a kiss against her cheek.

"Something smells good," he said, glancing down at the plates Kate was preparing.

"Thought you'd appreciate breakfast for lunch," she replied, tilting her head to give him a knowing smile.

"Dad loves breakfast for lunch," Alexis chimed in, laughing lightly.

"That I do, yes," Castle concurred with a bob of his head.

Martha perked up a little and a tiny smirk tugged on her lips. "Kate was kind enough to offer to make me a mimosa, but I declined. Figured it would be more prudent to skip the alcohol… at least for one day."

"Wise decision, Mother," Castle flashed her an quick smile of approval.

His mother's smirk brighten as she gave a dramatic wave of her hand. "Mind you, I only said _one_ day, darling."

Castle laughed, buoyed to see his mother's mood improve. He knew he still owed his mother a longer talk, but that could wait. Kate turned to him with a smile, and surprised him with a quick kiss. He leaned into her and kissed her back before slipping away and moving around the island countertop to wrap his little girl up in a big bear hug. "How you doing, Pumpkin?" he asked.

"I'm better," she whispered back, giving him an extra squeeze. "Especially now that I'm back home with my family."

It didn't escape his notice how when Alexis said 'family' she had glanced over at Kate. He smiled, pleased that his daughter was including Kate in that category. Hugging his daughter tightly, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head and looked up towards Kate, catching her wiping a happy tear from her cheek. She looked up at him with watery eyes, the love pouring out as she gave him a warm smile. Castle's smiled widened, as he basked in the feeling of them being all together.

He was truly home.

**THE END**


End file.
